Our First Couple Social

The Setup

Matching with a single guy is straightforward. I need to fancy him, he needs to fancy me, and Mr just has to not hate him. Easy.

Couples? Entirely different beast.
I need to be attracted to the man and him to me, same as with singles. But now Mr has to fancy the woman, and I need to think she’s attractive but not so attractive that I feel threatened. Then she needs to fancy Mr, and also be okay with me. That’s a minefield of feelings before we even get to logistics. You can see why we stick to men.

And, of course, there’s the joy of messaging couples on fabs. Who’s replying? Him? Her? Both? Neither? Conversations can fizzle faster than a bottle of cheap prosecco as you navigate the uncertainty and communication between partners and then couples.

The Couple

Out of all the couples who’ve messaged us, we finally set up a social.

Mrs Tattoo: young, blonde, curves for days, gorgeous. The type Mr would happily have his hands all over. I’d expected her to be catty, but our body types were similar enough that I didn’t spiral into body-comparison hell.

Mr Tatoo: relaxed, cool, and with more photos of his chiselled torso than I thought possible for a grown man. In reality, it was mostly him and me chatting. He made it clear he liked curvy women, even though he was on the more petite side himself. We covered music, sex, parenting – conversation way deeper than the standard – and I found myself looking forward to meeting him. His wife popped into the chat occasionally, but it was very much a Mr Tattoo and me thing.

The Meet

Meeting them in person was both exactly and nothing like I’d imagined. We ended up in Costa, swapping filthy talk over cappuccinos, with pensioners glaring at us like we’d just defiled their Victoria sponge. I had my boobs on display knowing he was a fan and they were like magnets for his eyes despite his best effort to not look.

We discovered mutual acquaintances – including Cobra, who was apparently also messaging her. She asked for my honest opinion of him, which I gave, because if nothing else, I am a public service. I do wonder if she did ever meet him!

Are we gonna fuck?

They were fun, easy to chat to, and lovely company. But after the social, things just… ended.

Mr Tattoo turned out to be more Weasel than weightlifter which didn’t really turn me on, and Mrs Tattoo’s tastes ran exclusively to chiselled hunks. As a fourway, we were about as compatible as marmite and jam.

What does the future hold?

Maybe we’ll bump into them at a club someday and trade more filthy banter – no cappuccinos required. That, I think, would be fun. But until then, we may or may not keep looking for a couple.

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