The Bodybuilder

The Bodybuilder – strap in for a long one.

So even from the first messages I didn’t understand why he was interested. The bodybuilder was tall, bearded and bloody gorgeous. He was playing away from what I would find out was a 5ft, size 6 and beautiful girlfriend, which started the most extreme insecurity within me.

Our social was planned at a McDonald’s at a service station, but when we arrived it was closed. It was a short drive to Five Guys, him following in his work van. We sat next to each other and not across from one another. We were able to touch, but it wasn’t electric. I felt awkward and unsure. This man had me confused from the get-go. He had shared some of his interests and kinks, of which he has a few. One was tights. I hadn’t dressed for him, but I was wearing tights and boots and I attempted to tease him. I honestly couldn’t work out if he had any interest or not, but he was a pleasure to talk to and clearly gorgeous, so we thought we’d arrange a meet. Easier said than done, as his girlfriend made timings a challenge.

Fast forward to the first meet. 

He was clearly nervous, as was I. I had more insecurity with him being sat next to me than I had ever had in my life. We didn’t kiss, we didn’t really touch. It was his first time with a woman in front of her husband and all of the nerves showed. I wanted more, so I started to touch his leg and quickly moved to kneeling in front of him. With insecurity sky rocketing, being on my knees to worship his cock was the only comfortable place I could imagine.

He was soft. In my head, it reaffirmed that he thought me disgusting. It’s the most bizarre position to be in, to have such negative voices in your head and want to improve the situation. I took him, and started with slow and gentle kisses. It was only seconds before I felt him respond. OK – so he may not find me attractive but he could still enjoy the sensations. I carried on. His cock got big and thick and hard and I started to enjoy it more and more. I made no attempt to move and do anything else and neither did he. I carried on, and after god knows how long — it could have been 5 minutes or 50, but probably closer to 5 if I’m being honest — he pushed me off him.

Hurt, feeling that I would never be good enough, he said I had to stop or he would cum. So I pushed him back down and carried on. It was the only thing I could think to do. He came hard, his whole body tensed in the most incredible way, making the huge, hard muscles pop.

We chatted only a few minutes and he left to go home. I didn’t feel much after he left. Maybe relief that it was over. I thought he was amazing to look at but I didn’t have the self-esteem for someone I didn’t feel was in any way attracted to me. One to chalk up to experience.

Only… he did message again and ask to see me again. Now I just felt confused.

The second meet.

It wasn’t too long before we arranged another time. He came over and things were marginally more comfortable. Still no kissing (on husband’s request) and things were still not as easy as I had wanted. I sucked his cock, and he attempted to touch me but I pushed his hand away. I couldn’t bear the thought of him touching my stomach and the fat and rolls. I was so convinced he would actually vomit upon touching me. I felt so conditioned that how I am is not enough that I was completely unable to allow him to touch me.

By some miracle we did fuck. I try and recall exactly what we did and I honestly can’t remember. I seem to recall allowing him to fuck me from behind, thinking he would not want to see any part of me. I’m sure there was more to it — in fact, I think he had me laid on my side to fuck me like that. But anyway, we did fuck, he did cum, and he did leave.

After he left, I laid on the sofa and sobbed. Big, deep cries that I was so broken and that he must have had the absolute worst time. Mr reclaimed, that’s the deal, although the tears still fell. I didn’t know how to process how I felt. I realised that I could lay and wallow or I could message him. Logging on to Fabs I was greeted with a message from him. The Bodybuilder was telling me how amazing it was, how much he had enjoyed me and that he hoped he could come again. I experienced such confusion. His words didn’t match up to my own feelings. So I responded in a way so unlike me. I was completely direct and told him that I was actually laying crying because I thought he had hated it.

This man was special. He didn’t invalidate my feelings at all. He reiterated how much fun he had had and said that he was sorry I felt that way. A few exchanges and although I was in no way okay, the lines of communication remained open.

Our lunchdate

We had no new dates in the diary due to him not being able to get away from the girlfriend, so nothing changed. Then one day, I got a message on Fabs… “I’m thinking about you, if only you worked in Cambridge.” Little did he know that I had a new job and that was exactly where I was working. And I told him that. A few exchanges later and we’d arranged to meet for lunch on the benches outside my office. Just chat.

We sat for 90 minutes just talking. There was no pressure, just the kindest conversation. In that time, the Bodybuilder shared so much about what he liked that I realised that he had been nothing but genuine with me. He did appreciate my body type and find me attractive, he had loved the sex, and we got on like a house on fire. I actually don’t like my real brother but I think this was how I was meant to feel about my brother. This easy company, someone that made me laugh and that we had shared experiences that made it fun to be around each other.

This lunch was such a turning point. After this, I was ready and excited to see him again, and we got a date in. He came over, Mr sat in the next room, and the Bodybuilder and I had some fun. I let my guard down just a little. He touched me, and his touch was confident, he hit the right spot and I could enjoy him.

Sniffing my feet

And — the big kink came out. Feet. Well more specifically, feet in tights. The walls didn’t come crashing down in a big reveal, but it was the first time I had properly let him go all out on my feet and allowed myself to enjoy it as well. I laid back as he held my feet and sniffed them. He was clearly turned on doing this, and seeing his enjoyment allowed me to relax. His deep sniffs, his thumbs stroking my arches, I finally felt that part of me was enough. What followed was his touch on some parts of my body, his cock sucked and worshipped, and sex… a few positions that all felt good. It wasn’t earth-shattering, but it was the biggest step I could take. We then spent an hour sitting on the floor chatting and play fighting. It was lighthearted, it was fun, and for a short while all the voices in my head telling me that I would never be enough were quiet.

Saturdays alone

Schedules once again got challenging and the Bodybuilder asked about a Saturday daytime meet. With the kids, it was never going to be possible, but after a run of cancellations one week topped off by not being able to get to the club on the night I actually wanted to go, Mr said he would take the kids out so the Bodybuilder could come over in the morning. This was a big new thing and one I was incredibly grateful for.

He came over, we took a shot of tequila together, and we headed up to our guest room. It was just us in an empty house, which was completely new and strange. By now we had discussed a lot more and I understood so many more of his kinks, his love of being dominated, his love of milfs and their curves. I knew what clothing he liked aside from the tights, which were a firm favourite. The role plays he wanted. The scenarios to play out.

The Bodybuilder challenged me to try things I had never tried before, to be vocal in the bedroom - something I had never been able to do. And it was worth the effort because I got the kick I needed out of fulfilling his kinks and seeing his pleasure. He was nothing but sincerely complimentary of my head skills, always telling me that it was out of this world and the best he had ever had. But his compliments never stopped with oral. He always described the sex we had as amazing and complimented my company. My time with him made my self-confidence grow. His company quietened the self-hatred and bit by bit I enjoyed exploring.

He came over for three Saturdays, and every time got better and better - I can’t wait to tell you all about them.