The fab journey #1 Where do you meet people?
Where do you find people to fuck?
So Mr and I decided that we were going to open up our relationship in some form. But now there's one big question.
WHERE DO YOU MEET PEOPLE WHO WANT NO STRINGS FUN?
We understood there were 2 main ways - online and in person. A little research later and we found clubs and we found Fabs, or FabSwingers. This seemed to be the main platform for meeting people online. (We have since learnt there are other platforms including SwingHub and Playful Pineapple but we have yet to see the same traction as with Fabs).
For those unfamiliar with Fabs, the user interface looks like something that was already dated back in the 90's, but it's functional and broadly it does what people want it to do. No platform is perfect and there are plenty of fakes, time wasters etc on Fabs but I don't think you can blame the platform for that. After signing up and getting our photo verified we were suddenly inundated with messages from men. Woah. Who knew my legs would illicit such a response!
For me, there was, and still is, a huge amount of enjoyment in talking to other men. And once the kids were tucked in to bed I would enjoy messaging quite literally 100's of men of an evening. We quickly decided that we would need to meet people only socially to begin with to work out if there was a good connection and we had to figure out the childcare thing to be able to make that work.
So, in the coming weeks when the biggest kids were at school and a local friend watched the youngest 2 we met 4 men for a low-key coffee.
#1 - The Old Man
So the old man had messaged us and recommended we employ the use of some filters to stop old men like him messaging us. He was in his 50's, had a great gym body and a kind face and I said that I wouldn't discount him based on looks or age. So we headed to what we now know is a swinger hotspot for a coffee. He was absolutely fine but gave off huge 'dad' vibes looking out for us rather than someone I felt was attracted to me. So we enjoyed the drink and chat and went on our merry way. We've stayed in touch intermittently but we have vastly different values and approach so I don't think we would meet again (intentionally) but would happily talk to him if we bumped into him.
#2 - Jason
So Jason is absolute fire. He messaged and hit absolutely all of my fantasy list. He was taller than me (but only just) had a thick muscly gym body, long hair like Jason Momoa but besides the incredible exterior, his conversation was on point. Mr thought at one point he must be listening in to our private conversations because he spoke about sex in the exact way I did. I was absolutely smitten with the idea of playing with him. He was into kink, BDSM and pushing boundaries and talking to him made me want to submit to him entirely despite not being submissive. Chat continued with Jason and we met at the same swinger hotspot as the old man for coffee. We spent more than 2 hours chatting away - I thought he was a great fit. Over the coming weeks we suggested a few times to meet but nothing was able to fit into the schedules. Over Christmas I had the realisation that we weren't meeting because Jason didn't want to meet and after working through the impact on my self esteem I actually decided that it was a good thing. Would I still play with him, absolutely. But the fact he didn't want to play with me was not a negative reflection on me. We all have different tastes and the club had made me realise that I absolutely was a catch after all.
#3 - Cobra
Cobra didn't give much away on fabs. We'd messaged consistently and despite the quantity of messages I didn't feel like we knew much about him. The big positive being that when we said we liked proactiveness he was quick to choose a location, date, time etc that would fit into our schedules. I was impressed. His picture showed a good muscly body and he was 6ft 3. I wasn't sure what I thought as he was also black. When it comes to race my husband will say I'm the least racist person he knows (he's not English) but sexual preferences are different. I didn't know if I was attracted to black people like that. So we arranged for a social. He was on time, he was accommodating to our baby being asleep in the pushchair at the restaurant too. In my head I think it helped make it look less suspicious but quite frankly I doubt anyone is paying much attention to us anyway. Chat was easy, we laughed lots and he spoke as much if not more to Mr as to me. We left feeling it had gone well and we'd happily meet him again but would he be our first? We just couldn't decide especially as we'd met Jason the week before and I was keen to meet him and play.
Read more about Cobra's journey >>
#4 - The European
The European was a weird one. The profile was a couple profile for him to source BBC for his wife. But he also had permission to play away too. He looked handsome, tall, lean and easy to talk to. The chat was more limited but good so we arranged a walk by the river to chat but the great British weather had other ideas. The heavens opened so we quickly switched to a restaurant - also with our baby in tow. He looked at me with so much desire in his eyes. Staring at my ample cleavage. Stroking my legs. He was bold enough to stroke high enough to realise I was wearing stockings!! We all got on like a house on fire and of the people we'd met our circumstances were more closely aligned which brought comfort. He was happily married and they enjoyed this lifestyle for spice and excitement. He also didn't want kissing, emotion, commitment and he would always prioritise family. It all sounded good and we quickly worked to find a date to meet. Unfortunately, the horrendous germs that swept through the area at Christmas ruined those plans but we had a new date for January. Would it come to fruition?
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